Summer Of '69

I got my first real six string

Bought it at the five and dime

Played 'til my fingers bled

It was the summer of '69

Me and some guys from school

Had a band and we tried real hard

Jimmy quit and Jody got married

I shoulda known we'd never get far

But when I look back now

The summer seems to last forever

And if I had the choice

Ya, I'd always wanna be there

Those were the best days of my life

Ain't no use in complaining

When you got a job to do

Spent my evening down at the drive in

And that's when I met you, Ya

Standing on a mama's porch

You told me that you'd wait forever

And when you held my hand

I knew that it was now or never

Those were the best days of my life

Back in the summer of '69

Ya, Man we were killing time

We were young and restless

We needed to unwind

I guess nothing can last forever, Ya

And now the times are changing

Look at everything that's come and gone

Sometimes when I play my old six string

I think about ya wonder what went wrong

Standing on a mama's porch

You told me it would last forever

And the way you held my hand

I knew that it was now or never

Those were the best days of my life

Back in summer of '69

Satir's Conceptual Framework

1) The Family Of Origin's Influence

Our family of origin, including past generation, has a significant influence on our attitudes and behaviors.

2) Families As System

Families are systems and as such seek balance; when that balance is maintained through inappropiate roles, restrictive rules, and/or unrealistic expectations, the members needs will not be met and dysfunction will occur.

3) Low Self Esteem

The result of dysfuctional family system is low self esteem and defensive behavior, as the basic drive of human beings is to enhance self esteem and defence against threats to it.

4) Resources Of The Whole Person

Each person contains all the resources one needs for growth and healthy functioning.

5) The Process Approach

Growth is always possible and is most effectively facilitated by intervening at the level of "process" rather than "content".

6)The Process Of Change

The process of change is universal and involves stages.

4 Defensive Communication Styles From Virginia Satir

1) Placating
When we placate, we disregard our own feelings of worth, hand our power to someone else, and say yes to everything. Placating masquerades as pleasing, a highly acceptable act in most cultures and families. However, Placating differs from a congruent attempt to please. We placate at the expense of self worth. Placating denied our self respect and give people the message that we are not important. We insist on taking the blame for the things that go wrong. We take responsibility even if we have to go to exaggerated lengths to find evidence of our errors.

2) Blaming
Blaming is diametrically opposed to placating, The Blaming stance is an incongruent way of reflecting society's rules that we should stand up for ourselves and not accept excuses, inconvenience, or abuse from anyone. We must not be "weak". To protect ourselves , we harass and accuse other people of circumstances. To Blame is to discount others.

3) Super Reasonable
The Super Reasonable pattern of communicating discounts the self and the other person. Being overly reasonable means functioning with respect to context only, most frequently at the level of data and logic. We do not allow ourselves or others to focus on feelings. This reflects society's rule that maturity means not moving, looking, touching or feeling emotions.

4) Irrelevant
The fourth survival stance is being Irrelevant, commonly confused with being amusing or clownish. The Irrelevant pattern is the antithesis of the Super Reasonable one. When people are Irrelevant, they move continually. This is an attempt to distract people's attention from the issue under discussion. They keep changing their ideas and want to do myraid activities simultaneously.